When Kelly’s best friend set her up on a date with Eric, she didn’t expect much. But from the start, he came across as a perfect gentleman — roses, a thoughtful gift, opening doors, charming conversation. By the end of the night, she was genuinely impressed and thought it might’ve been one of her best first dates ever.
The next morning, though, her excitement turned into disbelief. Instead of a sweet text, Eric sent her a professional invoice. Listed were “charges” for the flowers, gift, opening doors, dinner, and even “engaging conversation,” all with payment terms like hugs, compliments, and a guaranteed second date. At the bottom, it warned “failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).”
Kelly immediately sent it to Mia, who showed it to Chris — Eric’s longtime friend. Horrified but amused, Chris drafted his own mock invoice in return: charges for “introducing you to a gorgeous woman” (payment: permanent block), “not exposing you to the internet” (payment: eternal gratitude), and “letting you sit at the same table as her” (payment: apology to all women you’ve dated). It was brutal, hilarious, and exactly the clapback Eric deserved.
Eric didn’t take it well, firing off angry texts about “realistic expectations” and insisting Kelly had “missed out on a great guy.” But Kelly simply blocked him and moved on, laughing with her friends about the bizarre experience. The only thing she kept was the engraved keychain he’d given her — not as a keepsake of Eric, but as a funny reminder of the weirdest date of her life.