I (26F) and my husband (29M) have been together for 6 years, married for 3. When we tied the knot, we were prepared: financially stable, emotionally ready, and both dreaming of a big family. Last year I got pregnant, and 6 months ago, I had a stillbirth.
It happened after a car accident. My husband was driving, distracted, and didn’t notice a red light. Another car hit us on my side. I was rushed to the hospital, but the baby didn’t make it. I don’t even have words for the physical pain, and emotionally… I was shattered. Grieving, traumatized, numb.
I blamed it all on my husband, I couldn’t even look at him after what had happened. I went to stay with my sister for 3 months so I could heal and process. When I finally came back, our relationship seemed fine. Things were still heavy, but I thought we were at least trying to move forward. Recently, he sat me down, looked me in the eye and confessed that while I was gone, he ‘had a fling’ with someone else… because, in his words, we were on a ‘break.’
I just sat there, numb. We’re married. I didn’t leave to ‘take a break’ like some teenage couple. I left to mourn our child. At no point did I imply it was acceptable to sleep with other people. He never asked, never clarified, he just decided that’s what our space meant.
And what was even more cruel, that he waited for some time after I moved back home to tell me. Which means he knew exactly what he was hiding. I packed my stuff immediately. Now I’m staying in a hotel. He’s been flooding my phone with apologies. Saying we can fix this, rebuild, continue counseling. My parents found out and insist that I forgive him. But I can’t accept that. To me, it was a conscious choice he made. And I don’t feel any urge to fight for this marriage anymore. Everyone now is treating me like I’m overreacting, like wanting divorce is some extreme step.
What should I do?”