Dear Wife,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m leaving you for good. After 7 years of marriage, I\u2019ve had enough. These past two weeks have been unbearable. Finding out you quit your job was the last straw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last week, you didn\u2019t even notice my new haircut, favorite meal I cooked, or the new silk boxers I wore. You ate quickly and then went straight to bed, avoiding any connection. You don\u2019t show affection anymore\u2014no love, no intimacy. I can\u2019t handle it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m done. Your sister and I are moving to West Virginia. Have a nice life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your EX-Husband<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dear Ex-Husband,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your letter made my day. Yes, we\u2019ve been married 7 years, but \u201cgood man\u201d isn\u2019t how I\u2019d describe you. I watch TV to drown out your complaints. I noticed your haircut but thought you looked like a girl, so I kept quiet. You cooked a meal I don\u2019t eat anymore, and those boxers? I saw the $49.99 tag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quit my job because I won $10 million and bought us Jamaica tickets, but you left first. Now, I\u2019m free and rich. Oh, and my sister was once Carl\u2014hope that\u2019s not an issue!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your Ex-Wife<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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