When my son found a filthy, one-eyed teddy bear half-buried in the grass, I didn’t want to take it home, but my son wouldn’t let go. That night, when I brushed its belly as he slept, something inside clicked, and a trembling voice whispered his name, begging for help.Every Sunday, my son, Mark, and I would take a walk together.We’d been taking these walks for two years now, ever since my wife died.No matter how tired I was, no matter how much paperwork waited on my desk or how many emails sat unanswered, we walked. Just the two of us.Mark needed it. Heck, I needed it too.He’s a bright kid. Gentle in ways that scare me sometimes because the world isn’t gentle back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since his mom passed, everything feels sharper for him. He flinches at sudden noises and asks questions I don’t know how to answer.He watches me like he’s waiting for me to disappear, too.Some days I still forget she’s gone. I’ll turn to tell her something, and the space where she stood is just empty air.Those moments gut me every time, but I can’t let Mark see that.I can’t let him know that his dad is 36 years old and doesn’t have a clue how to do this alone.So we walk.That day, the sky was that pale blue that looks washed out. A few other families were out, along with the usual assortment of couples walking dogs and joggers with earbuds.It was a perfectly normal day, until it wasn’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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