Everyone has been guilty of giving compliments that turn out to be less-than-sincere upon closer inspection. However, backhanded “compliments\u201d are some of the worst, especially since they\u2019re disguised as sweet remarks. It’s important for friends to be honest with each other, of course, but couching hard truths in fake compliments is rarely the way to go. (Unless you’re auditioning for a Real Housewives franchise, of course, in which case you can carry on.) If you\u2019re ever on the receiving end of a backhanded compliment from a friend, the real meaning might not even sink in until hours, or even days, later.While backhanded compliments typically stem from the speaker\u2019s own insecurities, that doesn\u2019t make them any less hurtful, says Sherese Ezelle, LMHC, LCPC, a licensed behavioral therapist. And when they come from a friend, a backhanded compliment is likely to sting even more \u2014 and may even damage your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Backhanded compliments run the gamut from clueless comments to rude remarks, and can also be a form of microaggression, Ezelle says. If it seems like your pal has crossed a boundary, she recommends disputing their comment in the moment by calmly asking for more info. \u201cMore often than not, to challenge them on the spot allows for the individual delivering the \u2018compliment\u2019 a chance to defend or further explain their intent,\u201d Ezelle tells Bustle. \u201cYou want to be sure to give an opportunity for conversation so that growth can happen and friendships can be preserved.\u201dOf course, different friendships have different dynamics. Some close friends tease each other mercilessly and, as long as everyone\u2019s on the same page, it tends to be OK. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Everyone has been guilty of giving compliments that turn out to be less-than-sincere upon closer inspection. However, backhanded “compliments\u201d are some of the worst, especially since they\u2019re… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":41382,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"views":70,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41381"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41381\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41383,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41381\/revisions\/41383"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41382"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=41381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=41381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}