Wife wanted McDonald\u2019s pickles. Not just any pickles. McDonald\u2019s pickles. She\u2019s pregnant, and this craving was not optional. It was urgent. Life or death. So, like a good husband, I drove to the McDonald\u2019s down the street and walked up to the counter like a man on a mission. I looked the cashier dead in the eye and said, \u201cHi. I need to buy about a pound of McDonald\u2019s pickles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She blinked. \u201cSorry\u2026 we don\u2019t sell just pickles.\u201d Okay. No problem. Plan B. \u201cThen I\u2019ll take 100 hamburgers. Extra, extra pickles. Hold everything else.\u201d She stared at me like I was crazy.
Goes to get the manager. Manager comes out, eyebrows raised. I explain: \u201cLook, my wife is pregnant. She wants McDonald\u2019s pickles. Not store pickles. Not homemade. Not sweet. Your pickles. And I\u2019m not going home empty-handed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He studies me for a second. Nods once. Then disappears into the back like he\u2019s about to perform a secret ritual. A few minutes later\u2026 He comes out with an entire industrial-sized sealed bag of pickles I\u2019m talking full food-service size, dripping with that unmistakable McD\u2019s pickle juice. Holds it out like it\u2019s some holy offering. \u201cFor the baby,\u201d he says. I nearly tear up. \u201cHow much?\u201d
He shakes his head. \u201cJust go. And good luck, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I rush home, proudly holding the holy grail of pickles. Wife opens the bag, sniffs it, and goes: \u201cMmm\u2026 actually\u2026 I think I wanted the sour ones from Subway.\u201d I stared at her. Then stared at the bag. Then picked up my keys in silence\u2026 and drove straight to Subway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Wife wanted McDonald\u2019s pickles. Not just any pickles. McDonald\u2019s pickles. She\u2019s pregnant, and this craving was not optional. It was urgent. Life or death. So, like a… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"views":521,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5226"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5228,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5226\/revisions\/5228"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newsinbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}