Raising kids while caring for aging parents can push families to the breaking point. Nancy, a 35-year-old single mom of three young children, found herself in exactly that situation. Her 74-year-old mother lived with them rent-free and once helped with babysitting. But after a serious fall, her mom could no longer be active, and the caregiving burden fell entirely on Nancy.
Not wanting to place her mother in a nursing home, Nancy asked her to contribute financially in exchange for the care she now needed. Her mom refused, saying, “I’m your mom—you owe me!” The tension boiled over that same night when Nancy’s son called in a panic—her mother had arranged for a nursing home herself and a moving truck had already taken away half the furniture, including even the crib she had once gifted for Nancy’s baby.
When Nancy confronted her, her mother lashed out, claiming Nancy was ungrateful and ready to throw her away now that she was no longer useful. To Nancy, though, it wasn’t about love or loyalty—it was about survival. She already had three children to raise, and caring for her mother full-time without any support felt impossible.
Nancy insists she isn’t wrong for asking her mom to contribute. She believes caregiving should not fall entirely on her shoulders just because of family ties. To her, the least her mother could do is help financially—because, as she puts it, nothing in life is truly free.