A 29-year-old woman had always been upfront in relationships: she never wanted children under any circumstances. When she met her fiancé, 32, they bonded over their shared desire to remain childfree, dated for two years, and got engaged. However, during a dinner with his parents, his mother brought up having grandchildren. To her shock, her fiancé responded that they would “start trying after the wedding and once they bought a house,” contradicting everything they had agreed on.
On the way home, she confronted him. He admitted he was never fully sure about being childfree and hoped she would eventually change her mind. Hurt and betrayed, she revealed something she had never mentioned before—she had undergone sterilization at 25 following a traumatic pregnancy and abortion experience that had deeply affected her mental health. She explained that she not only couldn’t have kids physically, but she also firmly did not want children through any means, including adoption or surrogacy.
Instead of understanding, her fiancé became angry, accusing her of hiding important information and claiming he wouldn’t have dated her if he had known. He ignored the fact that she was extremely clear from the beginning that she never wanted kids, and her sterilization was simply aligned with that boundary. He left to stay with a friend, while she was left heartbroken, questioning whether she was wrong for not disclosing something she believed was irrelevant since they had agreed to a childfree future.
Online users supported her, pointing out that she was honest from the start and it was her fiancé who had deceived her by secretly hoping to change her mind. They warned her that someone who disregards such a fundamental boundary is likely to dismiss her voice in other major life decisions as well. Ultimately, they encouraged her to rethink the engagement, as her partner had built their future on expectations she never agreed to—and never would.