Last night, exhaustion was sitting heavy in my bones as I fed our five-week-old son in the bedroom. I could hear my husband and his mother laughing in the kitchen while they cooked. I figured he’d bring me a plate once the baby drifted to sleep — that’s what partners do, right? When I finally made it to the kitchen, starving and drained, I found empty pans and dirty dishes. My husband barely looked up and said, “We didn’t think you’d want any — you were busy.” His mother just smirked. My stomach sank. I hadn’t eaten since noon.
I didn’t yell. I didn’t cry in front of them. I simply walked back to the bedroom, fed the baby again, and put him down. Then I grabbed my wallet, my keys, and left. I went to my favorite café, ordered myself a warm meal, and sat there in peace. No crying baby. No MIL hovering. No husband ignoring me. For the first time in weeks, I felt like a person again. And when my husband texted asking where I was, I just replied, “Eating dinner. Thought you wouldn’t mind since you didn’t think I needed food tonight.”
When I came home, he looked worried. His mother had already left — apparently uncomfortable once she realized I was serious. He tried to apologize, but I stopped him. I explained calmly that I am not invisible just because I’m caring for our child. That motherhood doesn’t make my needs less real. And if he wants to be a partner, not just a spectator, he needs to start acting like one. Feeding a baby doesn’t mean the mother stops needing to eat too.
This morning, things looked different. My husband cleaned the kitchen, cooked breakfast, and told his mom she’d need to stay at her own house for a while. When he brought me a plate and kissed my forehead, he said, “Thank you for teaching me without yelling. I get it now.” Maybe he truly does — because last night, I didn’t just feed myself. I reminded him I deserve care too. And if he ever forgets again, I know exactly how to remind him.