I had been married to my husband for less than a year, and it was my first birthday as a wife and a stepmom. I know my husband wanted to take this opportunity for us to celebrate as a family, but truthfully, I wanted something else.I thought my birthday meant a party my way.

I didn’t want anything big. Just a few close friends, a simple dinner, something peaceful. Truthfully, I needed it. Adjusting to this new role — being a wife and a stepmother — had been more challenging than I admitted, even to myself. I felt I deserved a night to myself and, more importantly, a chance to celebrate only with people I actually wanted.
I wasn’t trying to be hurtful, I just didn’t want her there.

My husband has a 17-year old daughter and my relationship with my stepdaughter was strained. We were polite with each other, but that was about it. She mostly kept to herself. I didn’t want to force closeness. So when I was planning the evening, I quietly asked her if she’d mind staying in her room during dinner. I told myself I was sparing her from feeling awkward but if I were to be honest, I didn’t want a sulky teenager ruining my party.She didn’t argue. Just said “okay,” and that was it.