After a brutal hospital shift, all I wanted was pizza and silence — instead, I found a toothpick jammed in my front door lock. I had to pick it out with tweezers like some unhinged locksmith. The next night? It happened again. That’s when I stopped guessing and set a trap.

My brother Danny installed a security camera disguised in our maple tree, and I watched like a hawk. Sure enough, the footage showed my ex-boyfriend Josh sneaking up and jamming in the toothpick like he was conducting surgery. I was stunned. We’d broken up six months ago!

Instead of calling the police, I called Connor — my tattooed, 6’4″ ex turned friend with a flair for dramatic standoffs. The next evening, Connor wore my fluffy pink bathrobe, waited by the door, and caught Josh red-handed. When confronted, Josh confessed he just wanted to play “hero” so I’d need him again. Wild.

I posted the video to TikTok — for “closure.” It exploded overnight. Josh emailed threats, but I just forwarded the footage to his boss… Amber’s dad. A week later, Josh was “pursuing other opportunities.” As for me? I got a new lock, a viral video, and the best slice of petty revenge I’ve ever tasted.