A man wrote in to share a painful discovery about how differently he and his younger brother were raised. At 18, right after finishing high school, his mother told him he had to start paying rent. Even though he was juggling college and part-time work, he respected her rules and paid her every month for five years until he moved out. He always believed she treated both children the same.

Years later, when his mother fell into financial trouble, he immediately agreed to let her move in with him. But during a casual conversation, his brother revealed something shocking — their mom had never charged him a cent, even though he had a job at 18 and lived with her until he was 25. She told the younger brother he “needed time to find his way,” a grace she never extended to the older son. The revelation left him feeling blindsided and betrayed.

Hurt by the unfair treatment, he confronted his mother. She admitted she charged him rent because he was “more responsible,” a justification that only deepened the wound. He told her she could still move in, but only if she agreed to slowly pay back the rent he gave her over those five years. His mother accused him of being cold, and his brother said he was being selfish, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of long-buried resentment and inequality.

Now caught between wanting to help his mom and needing acknowledgment for the unfairness he endured, he wonders if he’s wrong for setting conditions. The advice offered to him emphasizes honest communication, setting boundaries, and not letting guilt override his emotional needs. Healing family wounds sometimes requires difficult conversations — and standing up for oneself, even when it feels uncomfortable.