My daughter-in-law made a rule: 48 hours’ notice for any visits to see my grandson. I thought it was excessive, but I followed it religiously because I didn’t want conflict. I’d text her two days ahead, wait for approval, then visit at the exact time she allowed.

Last month was my grandson’s third birthday. I asked three days in advance if I could drop off his gift. She said no—I hadn’t given 48 hours’ notice before the party itself, just before my drop-off. I was confused but didn’t argue. I left the wrapped present on their porch with a card and drove away.

My son called that evening and said I was “being passive-aggressive” by leaving the gift instead of coming to the party. I explained that his wife had denied my request, and he said I should have “tried harder to work it out with her.” That’s when something in me just broke.

I stopped visiting. I stopped asking. Six months of silence passed. Then last week, my son called, panicked: “Mom, we need you. We have a work emergency. Can you take him for the weekend?” I was so caught off guard. Part of me wanted to help because I miss my grandson desperately. But part of me felt like I was only being called because I was suddenly useful.

I told him I needed time to think about it and hung up. Now he’s calling repeatedly, and DIL actually texted me—first time in months—saying they “really need family right now.” I don’t know what to do. Did I make things worse by stepping back? Should I help them after being shut out for half a year? How do I protect myself while still being in my grandson’s life?