In our quiet neighborhood, the 4th of July usually means a small barbecue and some light fireworks. But this year, our new neighbor Jeff shattered the peace with a full-blown midnight fireworks show—think stadium-level explosions, not the store-bought kind.

Kids cried, dogs barked, and poor Mrs. Thompson needed her stress meds. I asked Jeff to tone it down. He laughed and said, “It’s the 4th of July! Lighten up!” That’s when I decided: Jeff needed a taste of his own medicine.

Phase one: I ordered the tackiest garden gnomes I could find. While Jeff was out, my friends and I arranged a full-blown gnome party on his pristine lawn—complete with tiny flags and sparklers.

Phase two: Jeff’s prized car got a chalk-spray makeover. Uncle Sam on the hood, stars and stripes all over. It washed off easily, but it was glorious.

Phase three: A 7 a.m. yard sale—right in front of Jeff’s house. The entire neighborhood joined. Kids ran around yelling, tables lined the street, and Jeff staggered out bleary-eyed. “What’s going on?” he groaned. I smiled sweetly, “Just a yard sale! Early bird gets the worm!”

A few days later, Jeff showed up at my door with wine and an apology. “I get it now,” he said sheepishly. Since then, he’s been a better neighbor—no more midnight madness, and now he even joins our barbecues.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few gnomes, some chalk, and an early wake-up call to bring peace to the block.