My name is Linda, I’m 62, and last year my son married a widow with two kids. I’ve always tried to treat them like my own, spending time cooking, helping with schoolwork, and making my home a warm place for them — even though their mother and I have never truly gotten along.

During their recent sleepover, I overheard the kids whispering and felt my stomach twist. I realized my daughter-in-law had told them to sneak into my bedroom at night and go through my private things — my journals, letters, even my jewelry — to “find secrets” about me. This wasn’t childish curiosity; it felt calculated and invasive.

I froze, unsure what to do. Should I confront the kids? Call their mother? End the sleepover immediately? I care deeply for these children and want them to feel safe with me, but I also can’t allow them to be encouraged to violate my trust and privacy.

Now I’m torn between protecting them and protecting myself. I don’t want to push them away, but I also can’t ignore what their mother is teaching them. I’m struggling to figure out the right next step.