My stepson, Jake, recently moved in with my husband and me, and things have been rocky. He’s unhappy with pretty much everything, from house rules to our daily routine. I tried to offer some help, like offering to support his college expenses, but my husband said, “Money won’t make you his mom.”

Things got worse when Jake needed surgery. I wasn’t prepared to pay for it, especially given his attitude and the way he’s been treating me. I refused to help with the bill, but I was shocked when his “real mom” called me.

She said, “I’m not covering his surgery bill, your husband promised he would. Tell him to keep his promise; I don’t have enough money.”
AI-generated image

Now, my husband is saying that if Jake doesn’t get the surgery, he’ll leave and move in with his mom. If the surgery happens, Jake will stay here until we can afford the cost, as his mom can’t help. I’m torn. Do I stand firm on my ground, or do I help just to avoid future conflict and let Jake move out?

I’m unsure whether I’m being too harsh or if I’m right to feel that I shouldn’t have to be financially responsible for someone else’s child, especially with everything going on.

Any advice would really help.