Mom Didn’t Understand What Her Daughter Was Saying & It Led to Arguments – But It Was the First Sign of a Deadly Diagnosis

When Caty Stanko graduated college in 2021, she noticed something unsettling: her once sharp and accomplished mother, a successful attorney, was struggling to follow conversations, call Ubers, and remember names. At first, Caty thought it was stress, but the lapses grew more frequent. By late 2021, after researching symptoms like aphasia, she feared the truth. In May 2022, at just 63, her mother was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, a rare neurological disease that robs people of language and behavior control.

The diagnosis shattered Caty’s world. At 23, she was forced to face the reality that her best friend and role model would slowly slip away. Communication with her mother — once effortless — became frustrating and painful. Doctors told her the average life expectancy after diagnosis was only seven years. Grieving the loss of the future she had always pictured with her mom, Caty struggled emotionally, even turning to drinking before moving to New York to try and cope.

To channel her pain into purpose, Caty and her brother Drew trained for the New York City Marathon in their mother’s honor, raising over $12,000 for Alzheimer’s research. Running became her therapy, giving her structure and a way to feel close to her mom. Their mother, despite her decline, began walking long distances herself — a quiet echo of Caty’s new dedication.

Now, with her mother largely nonverbal, Caty continues to run, vowing to complete all six World Marathon Majors for her. Though the disease may be genetic, Caty focuses on living a healthy, meaningful life, carrying forward the strength and resilience her mother instilled in her. “She may not understand what I’m doing now,” Caty reflects, “but I know she’d be proud.”

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