Family relationships can be complicated—especially when emotions, expectations, and money get tangled together. It’s not uncommon for adult children to feel torn between helping their parents and protecting their own future, particularly when past choices come back to the surface. When financial decisions create emotional distance, things can quickly spiral into guilt, anger, and regret.

Recently, a reader shared her story with us, revealing how her mother’s spending and a surprising twist left her questioning everything.

My mom (61) spent all her money on trips and self-care and left me with zero inheritance. She used to say, “I worked very hard for this money, so I deserve to spoil myself.”

Recently, she became seriously ill. With no savings left, she called me in desperation, begging me to pay her hospital bills and costly treatments.

I said no. I felt she should have planned better for the future instead of spending everything on vacations. But I froze when she said, “You will end up feeling sorry.” I didn’t know what she meant by that—and I hung up.

Two days later, imagine my shock when I found out that it was a trap. My mom really was sick and did need treatment. But her money wasn’t gone—not even close.

She still had enough to cover everything and more. She just wanted to see if I was willing to step up for her. When I refused, she took it as a sign that I only cared about her money, not her as a person. She told me she was deeply disappointed and that she’d decided to leave her inheritance to charity instead.

I feel betrayed by the game she played—angry, even. I believe that money should be mine, and I’m not ready to lose it to a charity.

Do you have any advice?

Yours,
Annelise