It had been a long time since my whole family, including my stepmom’s parents, had gathered for a meal. My mom passed away years ago, but her memory remains deeply present in my life. On this day, I wore the earrings she had given me, as I often do to feel close to her. I didn’t expect them to spark tension.

When my stepmom’s parents complimented the earrings, I explained softly, “My mom gave them to me before she passed. I wear them every day to feel close to her.” My stepmom quickly interrupted, insisting, “She’s not your mom anymore! I’m the one who raised you.” I replied, “Are you trying to pretend you care about me? You’re not doing a great job.” She left the room, and later my dad told me I had embarrassed her.

Since then, my stepmom has said I’m “stuck in the past” and making her feel unwanted. My dad wants me to “just move on.” But remembering my mom doesn’t mean I’m not moving forward—it’s simply a way of honoring the bond we had. Grief isn’t something you discard; it’s something you carry in a healthier way over time.

Setting boundaries around my memories is not about rejecting my stepmom—it’s about protecting a part of myself that matters. I can be compassionate while staying true to my feelings. Even if others don’t share my emotional history, my grief is valid, and keeping my mom’s memory alive is part of who I am.