Holiday stress is common in blended families, especially when one person is expected to cook, clean, and host without help. Situations like unpaid emotional labor, toxic family dynamics, and holiday burnout often lead to resentment, boundaries, and difficult decisions.So yeah, I might’ve finally snapped. Every single Christmas for the last eight years, my husband and I go to my dad and stepmom’s place. Sounds cozy, right? Fire going, tree up, whole Hallmark vibe.Except, I’m the one cooking for 20 people. Not helping. Not “pitching in.” I mean full-on meal planning, grocery lists, cooking from scratch, timing everything, plating, the whole deal.
My husband does all the dishes. And then we both clean the kitchen, take out trash, wipe counters, the works. Meanwhile? My stepmom’s family is literally sitting by the fire laughing, watching movies.No one offers to help. No “hey, you okay in there?” Nothing. We basically get treated like the help.This year, my stepmom calls and goes, “We’d love to have you for Christmas! Don’t worry, we’ll pay for your flights.”
And I just, couldn’t do it again. I said no. Politely. I said we’re staying home this year.She LOST IT. She said: “How dare you be so ungrateful? I’m paying for everything, and you throw it back in my face!”Now my dad is acting cold, and I’m getting texts about how I’ve “ruined Christmas” and how they were “doing us a favor.” My husband 100% supports me, but I feel guilty because I won’t visit my dad. But also, I’m tired of paying for it in sweat and stress.I don’t feel like a guest there. I feel like unpaid staff. So Bright Side, should I have just sucked it up for one more Christmas? Or was I right to finally set a boundary?
