Experts emphasize that the first and most important step in situations like this is calm, assertive communication between all adults involved, always placing the child’s well-being at the center. While the adoption decision was made when both biological parents were teenagers and unprepared, they are now adults whose intentions may have changed. It’s important to clearly understand what role they hope to play moving forward, rather than leaving expectations vague. At the same time, shielding the child from the truth can backfire. If she learns about her adoption from someone else, it could damage trust and create deeper emotional fallout for everyone involved.

Professionals also note that adopted children may experience emotional challenges tied to early separation from their birth parents, even when adopted as infants. Open, age-appropriate conversations can help them process these feelings and feel secure in their identity. Experts recommend introducing the concept of adoption around ages five or six and answering questions honestly as they arise. Children have a right to know their own story, and honesty helps build trust, emotional security, and healthy development. Addressing adoption openly allows children to understand who they are, feel supported, and grow up knowing their family is a safe and truthful place.