Aging flips roles: the children who once needed care now support their parents. That’s Tenny’s dilemma—her frail, lonely MIL may move in at her husband’s request, while stigma still lingers around assisted living. She asked how to choose wisely.

First, know what you’re facing. Dementia affects tens of millions and care can feel like a full-time job, with real burnout risk. Close, consistent caregiving helps more than any pill—but only if the caregivers have support and limits.

Center the MIL’s voice. Ask what she wants and involve her in every step; forced moves worsen adjustment. If a move home is chosen, earlier is better—people with dementia adapt more easily while still stable.

Assess capacity before deciding: speak with her GP about current and future needs; map schedules, respite, and paid help; and be honest about the long haul (bathing, dressing, mobility). If you can’t sustain it safely, consider live-in care or a quality assisted-living facility.