We all started volunteering to be responsible for different things for the baby shower. I said I’d cook Filipino food and help pay for some of the decor. I sent money to the friend who was in charge of decorating. I asked the mom-to-be how many people were invited besides the ladies in the group chat. She told me 15.

There were 10 of us in the group, so I thought I’d cook for 50 people to be on the safe side, just in case she invited a few more. I started shopping for ingredients. I started prepping and coordinating with the decor lady. We figured out where we wanted the food and grazing table and told the mother-to-be. She approved.”

“Before her baby shower, I spent the whole day cooking. I took the day off (I only work part-time since I’m the primary caretaker for my baby while my partner works). Mind you, I had to arrange for my mother-in-law to watch my baby while I did all the cooking and for me to go to the baby shower. I didn’t want to bring my baby since I would be busy with the catering. It was by luck she was off those days.

Then the night before the baby shower, she messaged me that she had to ‘make some hard decisions’ and had to uninvite me but still ‘wanted’ me to drop off the food. I told her I understood and respected her decision, but I would not be dropping off the food. She asked me why, and I told her it wouldn’t make any sense for me to drive 75 minutes to drop off food to an event I was no longer invited to. The only reason I volunteered was because I was invited. She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such short notice and that it was hateful of me.

A few friends sided with her, while most sided with me. I want to know from a stranger’s perspective if I’m the bad person here.”