Hospice Nurses Reveal a Tender Word Some Patients Say Near the End of Life — What Families Should Know

Hospice nurses spend their days helping patients and families through some of life’s most difficult moments, and some say they notice certain patterns as a person approaches the end of life. Hospice worker Neal K. Shah has spoken about one word he says nurses may hear repeatedly during a person’s final hours: “Mum.” According to Shah, some patients call for their mother or appear to reach toward someone who is not physically present, even when their mother passed away many years earlier. He connected the experience to research by neurobiologist Dr. Christopher Kerr, whose work with more than 1,400 hospice patients found that many people experienced vivid dreams or visions near the end of life, often involving people or experiences that brought them comfort. Shah believes memories connected to a mother or primary caregiver can remain deeply meaningful, particularly during a vulnerable stage of life. However, these experiences can vary greatly from one person to another and should not be viewed as a universal sign that death is exactly 24 hours away.

For families sitting beside a loved one, Shah offered a simple message: avoid correcting or arguing with someone who appears to be experiencing these comforting moments. Instead, he suggests responding calmly and reassuringly, allowing the person to describe what they see or feel without creating additional distress. End-of-life experiences can include changes in awareness, dreams, visions, memories, and conversations with people who are no longer alive, and medical professionals generally encourage families to focus on comfort and emotional support. For caregivers, these moments can be difficult to understand, but they may also become deeply meaningful memories after a loved one has passed. Hospice care is ultimately centered on comfort, dignity, and support for both patients and the people beside them during the final stage of life.

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