My mother never attended college. At just eighteen, she lost both parents and became responsible for her thirteen-year-old sister and ten-year-old brother, working double shifts at a diner while her friends prepared for university. She later married my father and raised three children, but she never stopped educating herself. Our home was always filled with library books, and she spent years learning about history, gardening, repairs, and anything else that interested her. My fiancé Nathan admired that about her. His parents, Laura and Ronald, were both professors, and their home displayed degrees everywhere. When Laura learned that Mom had never gone to college, her attitude immediately changed. She began correcting harmless words, dismissing Mom’s knowledge, and even quietly using her phone to look up information before presenting it as her own. When Mom repaired a loose handle, Laura brushed it off by saying everyone had their talents. Later, I discovered through one of my professors that Laura had once been caught copying answers and bringing notes into exams, while her father, the dean, repeatedly protected her from serious consequences. Ronald confirmed what had happened. Nathan was stunned that his mother had spent years judging Mom for lacking a degree while her own academic record contained such a complicated history.
Before our wedding, both families rented a house by the ocean for a weekend together. I worried Laura would eventually insult Mom again, so I prepared a stack of general-knowledge questions. On Sunday morning, Laura complained about her coffee and ordered Mom to remake it, then mocked her by saying it was obvious she had never received much education. Nathan heard every word. He confronted his mother, reminding her of the academic misconduct Ronald had confirmed. Then he introduced my quiz, asking everyone to put away their phones. Laura answered some questions correctly, but Mom knew things Laura did not, including how to properly harden seedlings and which tool should be used to check whether a shelf was level. When Laura repeatedly reached for her handbag, Nathan called attention to it, and she finally admitted she did not know an answer. Mom eventually stopped the game and made the real point: not knowing something does not make someone stupid, just as having a degree does not make someone superior. Nathan told Laura that education should never be used to measure a person’s worth, especially when Mom had sacrificed college to care for her siblings. Laura finally apologized for insulting Mom and treating her like a servant. Later, she returned with the coffee and politely asked Mom how she liked it. Mom answered, “Milk, actually.” Laura laughed, and although everything was not magically forgiven, she left her phone on the counter.