I feel like I’m betraying my family by writing to you, but I need an outsider’s perspective.

My mother-in-law, Susan, has always been there for us—babysitting, helping with chores, and even contributing to our rent when things were tight. I was always so grateful for her support.

But a few months ago, my father-in-law, Bob, passed away unexpectedly, and everything changed. Susan was devastated, and she started leaning on me more and more. I didn’t mind at first, but soon it became overwhelming. Calls for help with groceries, errands, and company came nonstop, and I was stretched thin, even neglecting my own children. When I tried to talk to my husband and his siblings, they brushed me off, saying I “owed” it to her since I’m just at home with the kids.

I started to feel trapped. No one else seemed to care, and the pressure grew. Eventually, I began to ignore her calls. It felt awful, but I had to protect my own sanity. Now, there’s tension between us, and I feel guilty for stepping back. I wonder if I failed her, but I also wonder if I did what I needed to do to protect myself. My husband and his siblings are making me feel like the bad guy, but the silence between Susan and me is the hardest part.

I just don’t know if I’m wrong for putting myself first.