i’m 30, the oldest of four, and I finally thought I was done raising siblings. I’ve helped with my younger siblings for years, so I thought I could finally focus on my own life. Then last night at the dinner table, my mom dropped a bombshell. She’s pregnant after a fling. The father’s long gone, but she’s keeping the baby.

After telling me, she pulled out a stack of papers and started walking me through plans for the baby, things she said I “needed” to organize and handle. Budgets, schedules, lists of what she expected me to do. She acted like it was normal for me to take charge before the baby was even born.
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I froze at the table. I felt blindsided, overwhelmed, and honestly angry. She kept talking as if I had no choice and that I would naturally step up because that’s what I always do. It felt manipulative, like she was guilt-tripping me into doing most of the work before even asking if I wanted to be involved.

I walked out because I couldn’t process it. I want to support her, but this feels like she’s trying to dump responsibility on me. I feel stuck between wanting to help my mom and wanting to protect my own life and sanity.

Am I wrong for being upset that my mom seems to expect me to handle this new baby before it’s even here?

Sincerely,