Hi, I’m Miranda, and I need an outside perspective on something that happened at work yesterday. I’m a waitress and usually stay professional, no matter what—but this situation hit close to home.

My ex, Colin, who cheated on me with my former best friend, Leslie, showed up at the café where I work—with her. They were seated in my section, and Colin immediately started making belittling remarks about my job. Leslie laughed along and encouraged him. Things escalated when he purposely caused a scene by flipping his plate and getting food all over me.

I kept it together on the surface, but I was deeply hurt and embarrassed. When I went back to the kitchen, I made the decision to add extra spicy sauce to their replacement dish, knowing Colin couldn’t handle spice. When he started coughing, sweating, and drawing attention, people laughed—and Leslie left, clearly embarrassed.

My boss suspected what I did but didn’t punish me. Now that I’ve had time to think, I feel torn. Part of me feels like Colin got a taste of his own behavior, but another part worries I crossed a line at work.

Did I go too far?