My Stepdaughter Can Stay Only If She Babysits — My Home Isn’t a Charity Center

Blended families often face unique challenges, and Becky recently found herself in one. As a mom to a toddler, she asked her 19-year-old stepdaughter to babysit while she worked full-time. The young woman, however, refused, insisting that she wasn’t a “free nanny” and had her own life to manage.

Frustrated, Becky told her stepdaughter that if she wasn’t going to help with childcare, then she needed to contribute in another way—by paying rent. What Becky intended as a practical solution instead sparked tension in the household, with her husband remaining silent during the standoff.

The conflict revealed deeper issues: the stepdaughter was caught between expectations of independence and being treated as an adult, while Becky felt unsupported as she tried to balance work and motherhood. Both women were at odds over what “fair contribution” should look like in their home.

Uncertain of how to move forward, Becky turned to others for advice. Some argued the 19-year-old needed space to build her future instead of being forced into full-time babysitting, while others felt Becky was right to expect help or rent. The dilemma left Becky questioning how to maintain both harmony and fairness in her blended family.

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