A 36-year-old neurologist shared how she and her husband agreed on a plan when she became unexpectedly pregnant. Since she earned three times more than him and had just begun her career as an attending physician, they decided he would quit his marketing job to become a stay-at-home dad. She had always been upfront that she didn’t want to be a housewife and had only chosen to keep the baby based on their agreement.

Their daughter is now nine weeks old, and the mom is preparing to return to work soon. Over the weekend, she attended an out-of-state medical conference, leaving her husband alone with the baby. When she returned, she noticed he was acting strange. Eventually, he broke down emotionally and admitted he felt overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure he could continue being a stay-at-home dad.

He then asked her to extend her maternity leave, suggested putting the baby in daycare, or even that she leave her job to work from home. Frustrated and blindsided, she snapped and told him that if she had known he would back out, she would never have agreed to have his child in the first place. Though she regretted how she phrased it, she remains deeply upset by his sudden change of heart.

Now, she’s struggling with feelings of betrayal, fear for her career, and uncertainty about the future of their parenting arrangement—and possibly even their marriage. Many people have advised her not to give up her career, warning her that he pushed for the child and should honor his commitment or find alternative support, such as a nanny.