For my birthday, I planned an intimate dinner with my closest friends and family. I wanted a cozy night at home, cooking for everyone myself. My boyfriend, Jamie, however, wanted to take me out for a special dinner instead, but I insisted on my plan.

On the night of the party, Jamie showed up carrying a big Tupperware container of food his mom had made for him. When I offered to serve him the meal I’d prepared, he declined, saying no one cooks like his mom. It felt like a slap in the face.

To teach him a lesson, I suggested everyone try his mom’s food. It was tasty, but the sting of his words lingered. The next day at a go-karting outing, I purposely paired up with my dad instead of Jamie. The silence in Jamie’s face said it all. A few days later, we met for coffee and ended things. I explained how his words hurt me, and he finally understood.

The next year, I celebrated my birthday with my new boyfriend, Tom. When he arrived with two containers of his mom’s homemade cheesecake, everyone laughed and welcomed it warmly—because this time, it was about sharing and kindness, not competition.