My wife and I have been married for three months. She has two sons from a previous relationship, and I get along with them well. I knew from the start she was a single mom, and I was fine with that.

But last week, she told me she wants to quit her job and stay home full-time with her kids. We don’t plan for more kids because I had a vasectomy years ago. She says she always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom and that she missed too much of her boys’ early years because she was working long hours as a nurse. She felt guilty, and now that we were joining lives, she saw a new chance to give her sons the attention they deserved.

I told her I’m not comfortable with it. I work full-time, but covering rent, bills, groceries, school expenses, and everything else on one income is a lot. I didn’t sign up to be the sole provider for four people. The kids are in school most of the day, and I didn’t see how it made sense. She seemed to take it okay and said she understood.

Then yesterday. Her mom called me, sobbing, and said, “You are failing as a husband.” Then she continued to tell me that I should never have married a single mom if I wasn’t ready to take full responsibility for her and her children. I was stunned. I told her this was between me and my wife and ended the call.

When I talked to my wife, she said she had vented to her mom and thought it would help me hear another perspective. I told her I would never let my mom call her and insult her choices. She said I was taking it too personally.

She never said she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom before our marriage. Now I feel like I’m being guilt-tripped for not wanting to become something I never agreed to be. What can I do to solve this and figure out what’s best for both of us?