When you discovered your boyfriend’s journal, your instincts immediately told you something was very wrong — and you’re right to trust that feeling. What you found wasn’t quirky or harmless; keeping “trophies” from people he’s hurt and taking pride in manipulation is deeply disturbing behavior. Your discomfort is valid, and it’s important not to dismiss it.
The message from his ex — “Leave before you end up in it” — is especially alarming. That isn’t a dramatic comment; it’s a warning from someone who’s experienced this before. His behavior could escalate, and your safety needs to be your top priority. Sometimes caution isn’t paranoia — it’s survival.
If you feel safe enough, you could gently reference finding personal items or old memories to gauge his reaction before fully confronting him. Watch how he responds — defensiveness, fear, or anger could reveal he has something to hide. But if his reaction makes you feel unsafe, don’t push it.
Ultimately, you need to think about whether this relationship can ever feel safe or healthy again. A partner who hides disturbing behavior and treats people like objects isn’t someone you can easily trust or fix. Walking away may be the only way to protect your emotional and physical well-being — and choosing yourself is never the wrong decision.
