Managing a relationship with a spouse’s ex is never simple, especially when children are involved, but your situation has become especially difficult. Your husband’s ex-wife has always shown signs of entitlement—making judgmental comments, comparing her past marriage to yours, and inserting herself into your life. When you finally set boundaries, your husband supported you, and she backed off. But now, things are escalating again.

For the past 15 years, she hasn’t worked and relies heavily on your husband, often using the kids as leverage. Lately, she’s been leaning on him even more, citing vague health issues to get attention and sympathy. She asks him to take her to appointments, claims she can’t drive, and even tries to join your family outings despite having her own support system and a boyfriend.

Recently, she crossed a new line by suggesting she can no longer care for her children. Even though custody is already shared, she seems to be pushing more responsibility onto your household—while subtly pulling your husband back into her orbit. Her behavior raises serious concerns about manipulation and emotional dependency.

You’re right to feel uncomfortable, especially if it seems like she wants to blur boundaries and move closer into your family’s life. This situation requires firm limits, open communication with your husband, and clear expectations to prevent her from taking advantage of your kindness—or your home.