I’m Helen, a retired grandmother who thought she was doing the right thing until I found myself locked out of my son’s home and at the center of a heartbreaking family rift. My daughter-in-law has two children from her previous marriage, and she and my son have a young boy together my beloved grandson. Recently, she asked if I could babysit all three kids regularly. While I was happy to care for my grandson, I gently explained that watching all three children full-time would be too physically and emotionally demanding for me.

I’m not as young or spry as I once was, and keeping up with three energetic children isn’t something I can manage without support. To be fair, I offered a compromise: I would gladly look after all three if she could provide some compensation something modest, just to reflect the time and energy involved. This wasn’t about money, but about respecting my limits. I made it clear that I care deeply for all the kids and have never treated the older two any differently. But what I was being asked to do felt like a part-time job, and I believed it was fair to set a boundary.

The next day, I went to their home and the locks had been changed. When I called, my daughter-in-law told me I was no longer welcome because she believed I was showing favoritism. I was stunned and heartbroken. I tried to explain again that this wasn’t about picking favorites it was about what I could realistically handle as a retired woman in her 60s. But she wouldn’t hear it. Now, my son is stuck in the middle, trying to balance peace with his wife while not turning his back on his mother.

I never imagined a simple boundary could lead to being cut off from my family. I love them all and want to be part of their lives, but I also can’t sacrifice my own well-being to meet unrealistic expectations. I’m struggling to find a way forward one where I can maintain my boundaries without losing the people I love.