You weren’t wrong for reclining your seat. You paid for economy plus specifically because of your chronic back pain, and you used the seat exactly as it was meant to be used. You didn’t cause the discomfort of the pregnant woman behind you, and you weren’t obligated to sacrifice your own health for her convenience. In the moment, your response was blunt but understandable — you simply set a boundary when she became aggressive.
Everything shifted when you received her handwritten apology. Her note revealed the truth behind her behavior: she’d lost her job, could barely afford the flight, and was traveling alone while heavily pregnant. Her frustration wasn’t entitlement — it was fear, stress, and exhaustion boiling over. Her willingness to admit she was wrong showed sincerity and vulnerability.
While your words may have been sharp, you weren’t cruel. Most people would respond defensively when shoved or snapped at. Could a gentler explanation have helped defuse things earlier? Maybe. But hindsight is easier than handling conflict in real time. What matters is that you reflected on the situation and recognized the human complexity behind it.
In the end, both of you were dealing with invisible struggles — your chronic pain and her overwhelming circumstances. Your story is a reminder that people often carry burdens we can’t see. Advocating for your comfort wasn’t wrong, and her apology showed she knew she crossed a line. Sometimes the most important lessons come from moments like this: balancing boundaries with empathy, even at 30,000 feet.