Therapists say long-term caregiving can quietly become one-sided, leaving one person drained and the other dependent. When that happens, setting boundaries can feel harsh even though it’s actually what keeps relationships healthy. Parents especially struggle with guilt when they stop fixing their adult children’s problems, but research shows over-helping traps everyone in the same unhealthy pattern. Allowing grown children to manage their own lives is often the most loving choice.
Caregivers need support too. Pausing, protecting your energy, and redefining what help looks like aren’t selfish — they prevent burnout and resentment. Communicating calmly about unhealthy dynamics, expecting some guilt, modeling independence, and involving a counselor when needed can all make boundary-setting smoother. Saying “no” after years of saying “yes” isn’t rejection; it’s how love becomes sustainable.
