When my daughter Amy visits her father, things are usually fine, but one weekend, I got a call that changed everything. Amy slipped our secret code word, “blueberries,” into the conversation — the signal we’d agreed on if she ever felt unsafe. My heart raced, but I stayed calm, telling her I’d pick her up right away.

When I arrived at my ex-husband Dave’s house, a woman I didn’t recognize — his new girlfriend, Lisa — answered the door. Amy looked relieved when she saw me. Back in the car, my daughter broke down in tears. She confessed that Lisa was mean to her whenever Dave wasn’t around, telling her she was “annoying” and that no one would believe her if she complained.

That night, I called Dave and told him the truth. He was shocked and promised to handle the situation, but I knew the code word had saved Amy from more emotional harm. I was proud of her for using it and relieved I’d been able to step in quickly.

The experience made me realize just how important having a code word is for kids. It gave Amy a safe way to ask for help without alerting anyone else. I now encourage all parents to create one with their children — it may be the lifeline they need when they can’t speak up.