This situation is really about how we define motherhood and how much space there is for compassion in that definition. Traditionally, Mother’s Day is meant to celebrate women who raise children—whether through birth, adoption, fostering, or step-parenting. From that perspective, the OP wasn’t wrong to think of her daughter and pregnant daughter-in-law first. Raising pets, while full of love and responsibility, isn’t the same as raising children, and many people draw that line firmly.

But Jenny’s situation is more complicated. She struggles with infertility, which makes Mother’s Day an especially painful reminder of what she doesn’t have. For her, being a “dog mom” may be a way to cope, to direct her nurturing instincts somewhere meaningful. When she saw her sisters-in-law being celebrated while she was left out, it deepened her sense of exclusion. For her, the issue wasn’t just about a basket of gifts—it was about being recognized and validated in some way.

The conflict here highlights two perspectives: one that says “Mother’s Day is only for women raising children,” and another that says “any form of caregiving and nurturing deserves acknowledgment.” Both have truth to them. Pets aren’t human children, but love and care are still real, and sometimes choosing kindness matters more than sticking to strict definitions.

So does being a mother depend only on raising children? Traditionally, yes. But in a broader sense, there’s room to recognize other forms of nurturing too. Sometimes the most important thing is compassion—because a small gesture of inclusion can mean more than drawing hard lines.

Would you like me to also suggest some gentle ways the OP could have included Jenny without blurring the definition of motherhood too much?