The Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one evening, excited to spend time together. When the waiter asked for drinks, the first pig ordered a Sprite, the second chose a Coke, and the third asked for water—“lots and lots of water.” The waiter was puzzled, but even more confused when the same pig ordered only water with his meal and again for dessert, while the others enjoyed steak, salad, and sweet treats. Finally unable to hold back his curiosity, the waiter asked why he wanted nothing but water. With a mischievous grin, the pig replied that someone had to go “wee wee wee” all the way home, turning the strange meal into a perfectly timed punchline.

Elsewhere, a farmer proudly raised a healthy herd of pigs, but every visitor seemed to disapprove of how he fed them. When one official heard the pigs ate corn and leftovers, he fined the farmer for poor animal welfare. Another visitor objected when the farmer claimed to feed them expensive gourmet food, saying it was unfair when people were hungry. Fined again and exhausted by criticism, the farmer changed tactics. When a third visitor asked the same question, the farmer calmly said he gave each pig five dollars and let them decide for themselves. Sometimes humor—and a clever answer—is the easiest way to avoid trouble and keep everyone satisfied.