What My Wife Doesn’t Use Anymore

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely woman. As she was about to storm out, her husband stopped her and said, “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.”

He explained, “Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, so I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.”

“Her shoes were worn out, so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore.”

“Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, ‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?’ And so, here we are!”

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