A minister finds a box in his closet with three eggs and $100. His wife admits she put an egg in the box every time he gave a bad sermon—and sold each dozen eggs for $1. Relieved that he’d only given three bad sermons in 25 years, the minister is proud… until he realizes how much she earned.
Later, Mrs. Jones complains that her husband falls asleep during sermons. The minister suggests she poke him with a hatpin whenever he signals. It works—until the minister gestures too much during a passionate sermon. Mrs. Jones keeps poking, and when the minister asks, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 99th son?” Mr. Jones shouts, “Poke me again and I’ll shove that pin where you’ll never find it!” The congregation replies, “Amen.”