I (56F) have been hosting Sunday dinners for my family every single week for decades. It’s a tradition that’s as old as I am. Same table, same cozy vibe, and yes, the same classic recipes my grandmother passed down. We’re talking homemade lasagna, buttery garlic bread, and chocolate cake. Straight-up comfort food, nothing fancy.
Now, my daughter-in-law, “Tina” (32F), married my younger son two years ago. She’s a nice enough person most of the time, but lately, she’s on some health kick. She’s started bringing her own “rules” into my kitchen, like no butter, no white flour, no sugar, no red meat. At first, I didn’t mind making a few small changes, like having a salad on standby or giving her some sparkling water. But last week, she crossed the line.
The second she walks in, she announces, loud enough for the whole house to hear, that if I “really cared about my family’s health,” I’d turn all my recipes into “clean” versions. She even brought a grocery bag full of almond flour, sugar substitutes, and oat milk and tried to take over my counter space to “help” me cook the “right” way. I was polite at first and told her these recipes are a big part of our family tradition, and I’m not changing them. She rolled her eyes and said, “So, you’re just going to clog your family’s arteries?”
That was it. I snapped a little and told her, “Tina, these recipes have been in my family for 80 years. I’ve served them to people who’ve lived well into their 90s. If you don’t want to eat them, that’s fine. Bring your own meal, but you won’t rewrite my family history in my kitchen.” She huffed and sat down with her almond flour cookies, as if that was going to make me feel bad.
After dinner, my son hit me with something that totally shocked me. He told me Tina’s doctor has been telling her to gain weight because she’s underweight, and it’s messing with her chances of getting pregnant. But no, she’s gone full “clean eating” and refuses to listen to the doctor. Now, she’s trying to get everyone else to jump on her diet train. And Sunday dinner? That’s her stage to push her agenda.
Now she’s telling everyone I “don’t care about her health,” and my other son thinks I should’ve just made one gluten-free, sugar-free dish to keep the peace. But to me, it’s not about gluten, it’s about boundaries. This is my kitchen, my tradition, and my family recipes.
So, am I wrong for standing my ground and refusing to change everything just because Tina thinks my cooking is unhealthy?