I buried my 9-year-old son ten years ago. When new neighbors moved in, I brought over a pie to welcome them. Their teenage son opened the door… and I nearly collapsed. He had my son’s face! And when I told my husband, he whispered something that changed everything.My son, Daniel, died when he was nine years old.He was playing with a ball near the school gate, and then a car turned too fast off the side street, and that was it. One moment he existed in the world, and the next he didn’t.The grief of losing a child never goes away. It’s a wound that scabs and leaves a scar in your heart that you feel forever.
When I saw a young man who looked exactly like my boy, it felt like that wound tore open all over again.For years after Daniel died, I still turned my head when I heard boys laughing down the street.I still expected, for half a second, to hear a ball bouncing in the driveway.I was advised to have more kids. “It will help ease the pain a little,” I was told, but I didn’t have the heart for it.So, Carl and I turned into quiet people in a quiet house, and mostly that was okay.Then the moving truck showed up next door.Carl watched the truck pull into the driveway from the front window, arms folded, and said, “Looks like we’ve got neighbors again.”I nodded from the kitchen doorway.”I’ll bake something to welcome them to the neighborhood,” I said.It was more habit than enthusiasm.That afternoon, I made an apple pie. I waited until it had cooled just enough not to burn someone, and then I carried it across the lawn with both hands.