Two years after losing my wife and six-year-old son in a drunk-driving crash, I was barely surviving each day. My home felt frozen in time, with my son Caleb’s sneakers still by the door and my wife Lauren’s mug untouched near the coffee maker. I stopped sleeping in our bedroom, drifted through work, and told myself I was “fine” when I was really just existing. One night, at 2 a.m. on the couch, I saw a Facebook post from a child welfare page: four siblings, ages 3 to 9, about to be split up because no one could take them together. Something about that image stopped me cold—the way they sat close, like they were holding on to each other because everything else had already been taken away. I knew what it felt like to leave a hospital with your family gone. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of them being separated on top of that loss.
By morning, I had already called Child Services. That decision led to months of screenings, therapy, and interviews, all of which I barely questioned because my answer never changed: “All four.” When I finally met Owen, Tessa, Cole, and Ruby, they were sitting together on a couch like they were bracing for bad news again. They asked if I was “the man who was taking them,” and I told them the truth—I wasn’t interested in just one of them. Bringing them home didn’t fix my grief, but it changed it. The house stopped being empty, filled instead with arguments, laughter, and small routines I had forgotten I could live without. I didn’t set out to become their father. I just couldn’t let them lose each other the way I had already lost everything else.