I am at my wit’s end. My wife gave birth to our daughter 3 months ago. Since then, she hasn’t taken care of our baby, and I basically do everything.

My wife could not breastfeed, so I bottle-feed my baby, and do all the cooking, laundry etc. My wife said she hadn’t connected with the baby and needed time, so I tried to support her. She wouldn’t even pick our daughter up to cuddle her.

I urged her to seek help, but she brushed me off, saying it was OK, and she was sure she’d be fine. Again, I backed off to be supportive. I work from home, so I have been managing, but finally, I told her that three months is enough time, and she needs to do her bit.

I completely lost it when she said that she had no maternal instincts and did not “want” our daughter. We had a fight, and I took our baby to my parents’ house for the weekend, and finally got some rest.
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When I got back, imagine my shock when she said she wanted to go on a solo trip to “find herself” and would be back in a month. Since she didn’t have savings, she asked me to fund her trip, which I said no to. She yelled at me for being insensitive and flounced out. Later, she called and told me she was at her friends’ house and staying there for a week.

I was so angry, I told her not to bother coming back, and since then, my phone has been flooded with messages and calls from her friends and family for not getting her the help she needed. I feel this is not what postpartum depression looks like, and if it is, I can’t drag her to the doctors’ when she doesn’t want to go.

Tell me, am I wrong? What should I do? I want my daughter to have her mother, but an irresponsible one scares me.

I’m terrified of the future right now.