When my daughter-in-law turned 30, she invited us to a fancy restaurant she loved. The place was expensive and trendy, and I suspected the bill would be high. Still, it was her day, so I went along. To my surprise, she covered the entire $800 dinner bill for everyone, which I thought was generous and the end of it.

But just as we were leaving, she turned to me and said, “Can you take care of the tip? It’s $150.” I was shocked. Why should I pay such a steep tip for a dinner I was invited to? Calmly, I said I wasn’t comfortable paying it since the service didn’t warrant that much, and I left quietly. I truly thought it would blow over.

Instead, later that night, my son texted me in fury: “Forget about coming around for a while. You embarrassed her. She cried the whole way home.” Apparently, she expected me to cover the tip because I hadn’t gotten her a birthday present. That was never mentioned to me, and I was stunned at how quickly it escalated.

Now my son won’t speak to me, my daughter-in-law won’t respond, and I’m left wondering if I was wrong for refusing. I hadn’t meant to ruin anything—I only thought it was unfair to demand $150 without warning. I was planning to get her a gift anyway. I can’t help but ask myself: when did love and family become so transactional?