Why Sleeping Separately Can Improve Marriage

As people age, couples often face unexpected issues like snoring and sleep problems, which can disrupt both partners’ rest. When sharing a bed no longer works, some couples choose to sleep separately, a practice often called a “sleep divorce.” Even celebrities like Victoria Beckham and Cameron Diaz have spoken openly about it.

Sleep specialist Wendy Troxel explains that poor sleep can harm both physical and emotional health. The CDC links lack of sleep to serious conditions like diabetes, stroke, heart disease, and dementia. It also affects mood, patience, and communication. Dr. Raj Dasgupta adds that sleep loss can lower empathy and lead to miscommunication in relationships.

Troxel suggests viewing sleeping apart as a “sleep alliance” rather than a breakup. Well-rested partners are happier, more empathetic, and better communicators. Before deciding to sleep separately, experts recommend ruling out health problems like sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome. Couples can also try solutions such as using separate blankets, wearing earplugs, using white noise machines, adjusting sleep schedules, or trying FDA-approved devices to reduce snoring.

If these methods don’t work, separate bedrooms can be a practical choice. To stay connected, couples should maintain routines like spending time together before bed. The benefits of sleeping apart include better rest, more personal space, fewer arguments about sleep habits, and even improved intimacy.

Many couples report dramatic improvements in their relationships and sleep quality after making this change. Historically, separate beds weren’t unusual—TV couples were often shown sleeping in twin beds until the 1970s. Today, sleeping apart is making a comeback as a way to protect both health and relationships.

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