When her adult stepdaughter Trudi (36) and family of four hit financial trouble, the narrator and her husband offered a lifeline: after the holidays, Trudi could move into the narrator’s separate apartment under a lease (no rent collected) to build history and savings. But after moving into the couple’s house first, Trudi and her kids refused to help, leaving dirty dishes and laundry everywhere. Trudi claimed it was “her father’s house,” and the husband wouldn’t back his wife.

Fed up, the narrator moved into her now-empty apartment and withdrew the offer, not wanting her own property trashed. Trudi threatened to sue over the “lease,” but the narrator noted there was no deposit or first/last month’s rent paid as agreed. A check of the husband’s house confirmed the chaos—filthy and smelly—while Trudi blamed the mess on not having their own space.

The narrator invited her husband to move in with her if he wanted Trudi’s family to have the house, but he refused, preferring to stay there (he’s retired). Only the son-in-law showed effort and empathy; Trudi, her kids, and the husband were angry at the narrator for “changing the plan.”

Commenters largely backed the narrator: stop giving the husband a clean “getaway,” set firm boundaries, protect her property legally, and consider counseling or an ultimatum. The narrator resolved not to let Trudi into her apartment and to return to the marital home only after Trudi’s family leaves and the house is professionally deep-cleaned.