When my husband told me that his mom asked to borrow $2,500, I wasn’t surprised, but I was worried. Our financial situation hasn’t been the best lately. He’s been working two jobs just to keep us afloat, and every dollar we earn is already planned out before it even hits the account. When we bought our house, his mom helped us financially, and I’ve always appreciated that. But now she’s having her own money troubles and wants help from us.

I told him that I wasn’t against helping her, but I had two conditions. First, she has to sign a written agreement stating that this is a loan, not a gift. I don’t care if it’s just on a piece of paper—we need it in writing so everyone is on the same page. Second, before we give her any money, the three of us need to sit down together and go over a clear repayment timeline. No vague “I’ll pay you when I can” kind of promises. I want an actual plan.

He wasn’t thrilled. He said she’d probably take it personally, but I told him this isn’t about hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s about being responsible. We can’t afford to just give away money we don’t really have, no matter who it’s for. If we’re going to help her, it has to be done in a way that protects us too.